Benny

Benny was up late, later than usual, and was sketching painstakingly on a plain sheet of paper. He just couldn't seem to get to sleep. Thoughts rolled through his head, terribly distracting thoughts, thoughts about messy brown hair and big, deep brown eyes and a beautiful dimply smile…
He winced as he slid his pencil in the wrong direction, ruining a bit of Ethan's eyebrow. Ethan himself had told Benny he was a crummy artist, but those had been cheap stick figures compared to what he was churning out now. It was nothing seriously beautiful, but it was a definite improvement from the first time he had tried to draw Ethan. Which had been approximately twenty minutes ago.
It wasn't that he had a crush on his best friend, thought Benny. It was just that those stupid adorable dimples and those irritating pretty eyes were getting in the way of his sleep schedule by clouding his thoughts, rumbling around in his brain where they definitely didn't belong. Benny started on the shape of Ethan's temple, conjuring up mental images of the boy from his memories and biting his lip as he concentrated. He couldn't help himself from what happened next, really.
It was just the late time of night and his intense concentration that caused him to suddenly imagine caressing that cheekbone lightly, feeling how warm and smooth Ethan's skin was, and gently turning his friend's head sideways so he could brush a kiss across the Seer's temple…
Benny shook his head vigorously and returned to drawing. He just had to finish this one, then his brain would have closure, the rumbling thoughts would cease and he could go back to sleep. He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes. It really was late, and the drawing looked as good as he could get it at this time. Benny put the pencil's back in their cup and slid the portrait into a desk drawer. As he slumped back to his bed, he could hardly stop himself from thinking about the drawing. Little details he could improve, specific parts of Ethan's face he should highlight, if he ever gets the chance to go back to it. Stop it, he tells himself. It was a one time deal, just a creative outburst to settle his mind so he could sleep. Benny lay his head down on his pillow, which was covered in the Star Wars logo. He tried to think blank thoughts, but all he could see in his mind's eye was that familiar porcelain-like skin and the flash of those stupid adorable dimples! Rolling over, he covered his head with the pillow and groaned deeply. What was wrong with him tonight? Not that feelings and images like this hadn't occurred before, but why so strong now? Why did his brain choose to torment him with guilt and make his gut twist at the thought that maybe he was falling for his best friend?
Benny rolled back over and stared at the ceiling. Colorful glow-in-the-dark stars and planets winked back at him, and he grinned. He remembered putting them up there with Ethan back in Grade 1. Benny had simply wanted to stick them to his wall, but Ethan had insisted that stars belonged over head, and he wanted Benny to have a nice view when he looked up at night. Ethan was a sweet guy like that, Benny thought. He was also smart, considerate, quirky, fun, adorable, and probably knew Benny better than anyone else in the world. Scratch that, Ethan definitely knew more about him than anyone else. They had been inseparable almost as soon as they could walk. They told each other everything, every worry or fear, every mistake or nightmare. But they shared the good stuff too. Ethan always knew to put peanut butter cups on Benny's pizza. They liked the same movies and video games, not to mention all the demon, ghost, and beastie fighting they had been getting into lately. Benny and Ethan were a good match, a good pair, best friends. But why did Benny suddenly want more? Maybe it had started when Ethan was bitten. In those few moments Benny had worried about losing his best friend forever, whether to vampirism or a fate even worse. His heart had stopped, his mouth went dry, and all he could think was Please, not Ethan, anything but this, don't take Ethan, I can't live without him. He didn't know who he was praying to, or where the sentiment came from. But ever since that night, he had found himself thinking about the Seer in a new light. If they even bumped into each other in the hall, Benny got goosebumps. He found himself daydreaming in class, not about cheerleaders, but about Ethan. They weren't dirty fantasies either. He just imagined what he and Ethan would do that night, maybe order a pizza and Ethan would get a little sauce on his chin, and then lick it off adorably. Or they could rent a movie, and Benny would try to scoot a little closer to his friend when they sat on the couch, just to get that wobbly feeling in his stomach that he experienced so often these days.
Benny also began to worry that Ethan would discover these feelings. What if one of the next times they bumped into each other, Ethan had a vision showing him all of Benny's daydreams and wonderings. What if he was disgusted by Benny and they never talked again? That would be like losing an essential part of himself, like he had been cut off abruptly from a life source he depended on. No matter which way you looked at it, Ethan had become Benny's everything.
So he was forced to fight down his desires and fantasies, to save their friendship. Losing Ethan was something Benny hoped he would never have to think about, ever again.